There
is no way to instantly make the pain and anguish resulting from cancer
vanish, short of unconsciousness or death itself.
A rare understanding and acceptance of the nature of life and death
can help ease these feelings, but should not ever completely eliminate
them.
Know that death , is going to happen to all of us one way or another
at some time or other. None of us are alone in this.
We can accept the concept of death with the grace it deserves without
giving power over our happiness to the method in which it is delivered.
It is not a bad thing that you feel, even if it hurts, death or death
impending most often helps us define and appreciate the importance of
a connection we have with others, an emotionally real experience of
all worthwhile human beings. Let it all hang out! have the emotional
experience in all its full glory, then take time to think about your
path in life with regard to others and yourself from that moment on.
This
thing that eats people up from the inside, the word cancer itself even
causing it to self perpetuate in the minds and bodies of those who have
it and to consume the emotions of those close to them, by way of resentment
and the fear of its' apparent power to rob us of life or the lives of
those we love and depend on for much of our happiness.
A dear friend of mine wrote -
"Once long ago, a doctor told me i wasn't the type to get cancer
- I think it is because i don't hold stuff in, not that that is a talent,
actually a social weakness! but in the end it is the best thing not
to contain emotional pains.- which i think are often the fodder for
cancerous growth."
I watched my Mum pass on from cancer and its related organ
failures.
She never smoked or drank and always ate healthy, I was somewhat offended
for a while mostly because of my desires for the part she played in
my life, I really enjoyed having her around she was really great with
the kids and often brought back fond memories of my childhood as she
would play the same games and tell the same stories and rhymes with
my kids, fond memories of familiar things.. I came to the understanding
that her choice was merely to pass on, not to deny me, my children or
my brothers and sisters of her company or in any way complicate our
lives in her chosen path, the ailment was merely the vehicle to take
her to that point.
Mum had a hard life, growing up through WW2, suffering polio at fourteen
which left her with a permanent limp, her "gammy leg" about
two inches shorter than the other. She was good natured about it, "gammy
leg" jokes bringing reels of laughter from her and then she would
add a few of her own cracking us all up! despite the fact you could
see the discomfort it caused her constantly and how she struggled to
get around in her daily routines.
Mum was "the type" my friends' doctor was referring to. To
almost everyone she was cheerful, kind, forgiving, generous, fun, and
she possessed a host of other admirable qualities, she was only hard
on herself, in so much as "certain subjects" recalled were
recalled in such a manner as if they had happened only yesterday bringing
old pains back to life, deeply planted in her mind.
I am really glad I enjoyed her company and regular banter over the phone,
my kids did also and I know she also enjoyed our relationship. what
more can we ask for or expect?
I miss her for my reasons, I could not fairly expect her to stay for
those.
I feel she has freely, with an understandable amount of nervous apprehension,
departed her earthly form for her good reasons, not because of cancer.
For the observer, many things can cross ones mind, like, the uncertainty
of our own existance, what could possibly have brought them to this
point, what of their losses in this life if they die? what pain are
they suffering? truly it comes down to appreciating the person as much
as possible, taking more time to enjoy and know them.
We can help our friends and loved ones find alternatives in the hope
of a cure if they are willingly pursuing that path and remain positive
as they progress, my own experience tells me it is more rewarding maximising
time spent enjoying their company rather than time spent researching
cures or alternatives, because I have had to deal with the loss of my mum, however there can be great hope gained in alternative therapy I recommend the link below as it makes a phenomenal amount of sense.
Cheers,
Chris
If you are reading this and you have cancer or you know someone that has, please seriously consider what is said in the 6 part movie on This Link - World Without Cancer.
Live
life like you're going to die today, dream like your going to live forever.
